T = Trust

Trust is something that is truly personal as an abstract concept.  It is often linked with words like faith, respect, even love.  But TRUST is something that has to be acquired, much like its accompanying words.  

We want our friends and our families to trust us.  It is often something we teach our children, especially as they begin to be more independent in the tween to teen years.  We stress we need to be able to trust them to allow more privileges, more advantages appropriate to their ages.  And if, say, the curfew was midnight, and they wander in at one in the morning, the first words are often, “How can you expect me to trust you now?” to the wayward curfew breaker.  Dilemma time.

Another example would be the wayward spouse, caught in an extra-marital affair.  Suspicions usually are a precursor to the offender being caught, breaking down trust incrementally, if not completely before the “last blow.”

Those are both trust breakers.  So what are trust builders?  Examples of trust builders are one person telling another they will meet with them on a certain date at a certain time and showing up.  That starts the trust ball rolling.  It continues as things that are not of great importance being shared and not being gossiped about with others.  Then the sharing becomes more personal, braver, and still it stays between the two persons.  Trust becomes something important and binding.  It becomes personal and creates an atmosphere of acceptance and belonging.

Trust also encompasses truth and respect.  The faith in the trust that you will not be lied to nor “played.”  Once lies are told, it erodes trust to the point that sometimes it cannot be regained.  If we cannot trust because of lies, we will not respect the liar.  So what happens then?  One is less likely to trust again, to even try to trust again.  So much is lost and to be grieved.

But trust maintained is the greatest gift known because it does create faith, respect, and a deep and lasting love.  It allows the freedom of saying what is on the heart, of being your true self, of knowing that you are accepted, loved, and matter.  Trust says that though you may fail, someone trusts you enough to believe in you to eventually make it.  It says that you have backing, help to accomplish your goals and dreams.  It says there is not an expiration date on caring, believing, backing.  Trust lets the love remain after the person is no longer there that you trust.  It is that abstract feeling and inspiration that keeps you going.  You shared, you loved, you respected, you trusted and it was returned.  

TRUST is an earned gift.  It is a treasure that you hold tightly.  Once you trust, like love, it can never be taken from you, only broken.  Keep it safe, use it wisely, cherish the person who earns it.  It is your gift to them.