Sunday, May 7, 2017

J for Judy's Answer




J for Judy's Answer
The Answer

To sleep deeply without fear—
Quietness, comfort, Peace—
To not feel rejection or pain,
But rather the comforting arms of Mother Ocean.

She does not judge, but welcomes.
There are no demands, 
Only waves reaching out,
Pulling us back to her.

We will join her—
Let her depths swallow us
And our pain—and then,
We sleep in her bosom.

We sleep deeply without fear,
Without pain and heart aching.
Our bleeding stops forever
And we are one with eternity.














The Answer

To sleep deeply without fear—
Quietness, comfort, Peace—
To not feel rejection or pain,
But rather the comforting arms of Mother Ocean.

She does not judge, but welcomes.
There are no demands, 
Only waves reaching out,
Pulling us back to her.

We will join her—
Let her depths swallow us
And our pain—and then,
We sleep in her bosom.

We sleep deeply without fear,
Without pain and heart aching.
Our bleeding stops forever
And we are one with eternity.













Z FOR ZEITGEIST

“Zeitgeist” is defined by Webster’s New World College Dictionary as follows: n. the general intellectual, moral, and cultural state of an era.
Each and every era definitely has its own intellectual, moral and cultural state.  During the days of the pioneers, when America was being expanded and people were searching for their ideal place to live, intellect was used to survive the terrain and the weather.  In that era, anyone who rustled a steer (a dear necessity in some cases), or stole a horse (a true necessity), was hanged by the neck until dead by law and a morality that demanded that punishment.  It made sense for the time it was practiced and worked fairly well for most of the people of the culture.
Then jump to the age of industry, the introduction of the automobile, and general labor practices.  Children worked in factories for 12 to 14 hours a day, were paid very little, and parents did likewise unless the woman was home caring for children deemed too small to work (usually under age five since they could stand on stools and run machines at age five or six).  Some aspired to education but those born in poverty and working at factories rarely received an education to break free and move upward in society.  Those with money who owned and ran the textile industry and factories were educated and were to be emulated as much as possible by the poor.  There were  people of an upper class and a middle class and then the poor.  Intellectual, moral states were left for the upper class to establish for all in that era.
Moving forward to another era, we enter a post war era where all classes began to prosper, for awhile.  Women had enjoyed a brief time of better acknowledgement during the war and then were relegated back to the status of homemakers who were kept in the kitchen and barefoot and pregnant.  Racism was open so minorities, in particular Negroes, were kept in an even lower “place” than women.  God, government, and church, were all run by white males either interpreting what God had told them, making laws and running the church dominated society and culture.
The era of rebellion and anti-establishment came into existence after this.  Women demanded to be heard, burned their bras, and refused the kitchen tradition.  They went to college to become professionals and not just teachers and nurses.  They worked in developing space programs, as physicists, doctors, business leaders/ owners, as did some Negroes.  Flower children and hippies marched against a senseless war, free love and LSD were the culture that strove to expand minds and find an end to hate and offer peace.  The draft saw many young men fleeing the country as killing was not something they could stomach.  Peace and Love were the by words of the era.  Nixon resigned as President as citizens refused to believe anyone was above the law, including him.  Education was valued and universities were thriving as creativity, new ideas were embraced.  Yes, there was chaos, but there was also an awakening that came as people began to think, create, challenge the status quo.  Wonderful music, art, writings came out of the chaos and the common person could speak, expound, be heard and things changed rapidly.  
Next came an era of complacency.  Going with the flow.  Laziness of intellect.  Morals were questioned, zealots were more and more ignored and the economy faltered, but still, advancement could be made.  Money became more and more important, and the moral climate shifted from fair pay for fair work to who you knew that could get you into that desired job.  More hours were spent watching TV than outside.  Job hours were longer.  Advancement depended on sexual favors demanded, intimidation, and there was less time to spend on fairness as a moral standard.  The culture was mainly concerned with technology, how they could acquire it, and how much money they could make to keep acquiring it.  The arts began to give people what they wanted, as they seemed to have little or no message to put out for anything other than temporary stardom and money.  Religion became televised and as people starved and were evicted from homes they could not afford, televangelists  begged for money for private jets to spread the word of God and lived in mansions while their supporters donated money to support the ministers’ lifestyles.
Now we are in a zeitgeist of upheaval once again, similar to that of the 60s and 70s.  People have been shaken.  There is a sense of ambiguity towards intellectual edification.  We say we want education, but we do not finance it or keep raising the bar so it moves upward.  Instead, we lower the bar, require less of students and smile shamefacedly because our children cannot read nor write script/longhand writing.  They print or type on a computer.  The educational standards for most universities and colleges guarantee a worthless degree in a chosen field where if a student is asked to name the three branches of our government, an astounding number do not know.  History will be whatever a teacher decides it will be.  Math is not important and few cashiers under 50 years of age can count change back to you when you pay for items.  If computers go down at public offices, doctor’s offices, schools, government offices—some will actually close their doors until the computers are up and running again.  Insofar as morals go in our culture, no one is sure.  Morals require truth.  There needs to be consequences resulting from actions.  But if no one knows what the truth is, how do you make sure appropriate consequences follow?  Morals also involve compassion, mercy, kindness.  Morals demand that one do what is right.  What was once right no longer applies to morals or ethics.  But as in the 60s and 70s, good is rising out of the zeitgeist now.
This era is seeing people actively searching, thinking, demanding answers to questions they never considered in the era of complacency.  They acknowledge the upheaval, how it affects them, their families, neighbors, communities, and every facet of their lives.  Differences fall away between races, sexual orientation, genders, religions that are true to a Supreme Being, the disenfranchised by poverty and illness or disability.  People are coming together, uniting.  Their worlds of complacency and apathy have been jolted, cracked, shattered.  Bigotry, class disparity, discrimination against those considered less than by the rich is not being tolerated.  This zeitgeist is now prizing intellectual prowess and progressiveness, encouraging creativity.  Music is coming forth again that speaks to and for the people not being heard.  Literature is coming out that speaks for the people, encourages and inspires.  The arts are flourishing with pointed paintings, cartoons.  Comedians are standing up for the oppressed.  Corruption is being exposed because the people are now demanding it be exposed.  Morally, people are demanding truth, justice, fairness, a democracy they can support and live under.  Morally they are marching, joining with those on the fringes and humanity is recognizing we all need each other and we need to embrace every human in need!  Our culture wants freedom, compassion, justice, equality for all, mercy as needed and is now willing to speak out for it.  
My truth about zeitgeist is that ours now is hopeful in that we are waking up, rousing ourselves and each other, and if those who are creative keep fostering hope, love, compassion towards each other, this era will be one that will be remembered for people embracing people and the world to better the lives of all!

  

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Y for Yahoo

The definition of “yahoo” according to Webster’s New World College Dictionary  is: n. a boorish, crass, or stupid person (Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels).
I grew up thinking yahoo was a word cowboys yelled when they were happy or drunk.  Then I read Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift in school and found out Swift had used the word to refer to another group of people, and it was no longer an expression of happy and/or drunk cowboys.  I liked it.
I began to notice which persons I encountered might be true yahoos.  People I met that seemed “boorish” were never that boorish to me because I never spent more than a few minutes with them.  Why would I?  Why would anyone?  They offer nothing but requiring one to bear witness to their ego trips.  They are so obvious in their boorishness that they are easy to avoid.  Truly, I so adeptly sidestep them that I never bother to tag them as a “yahoo.”
I started watching what people might be yahoos by virtue of being crass.  I can honestly state that I have few associations with what I would call “crass” beings.  That is probably because I hold to the philosophy that crass is different by the way one looks upon it or experiences it.  I might find someone crass who picks their nose in public while you simply find the act disgusting.  But you may find someone who belches unchecked at a formal dinner party quite crass and I would probably laugh aloud at their audacity.  No, crassness would be hard to pin down in a yahoo depending on who is subjected to it and their beliefs as to what being crass is or is not.  Agreed?
The last qualification listed to be a “yahoo” is being stupid.  THAT certain characteristic I know about and have seen enough times to call out “You  YAHOO!”  to a person.  One can write off comments and actions to ignorance for a while.  Or claim there are extenuating circumstances surrounding actions or words.  And then… when there are no more excuses to cover these continued actions and statements—well—it becomes stupidity.  That warrants the label YAHOO.  And unfortunately, Stupid does exist, and THERE is the Yahoo.
As Forrest Gump said in the movie by the same title, “Life is like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you’ll get.”  Here’s to the Yahoos.  They are alive and well in the 21st century.  And that’s my take on it and my truth.  God save us all from Yahoos.  As the song says, “They’re here… they’re there… they're everywhere…so beware!”


Friday, May 5, 2017

x for X-Men

Well folks, the word X-Men is not in the dictionary and I won't use wikipedia for a source, so no definition—at least a literal one, this time around.  But I do have a blog about this topic!
I read comic books as a kid (still enjoy them) and have seen all the X-Men movies.  I have favorite characters and seeing them in action on the screen endears them to me even more.  
I love the people that are blue.  Every one of them.  They can morph!  Here they can be anything they want, take on any form at will, and fool all the people all the time!  Now is that cool or is that cool!  I forget as I watch them whether they are representing the good mutants or the bad.  I just watch them morph from one state to another, entranced and envious of their powers!  
I also like Charles, the head of the good guys.  But I don’t envy his powers.  I would not care to read people’s minds.  I have enough trouble with having empathy for others.  To read minds and thoughts, to see everything  would be my end.  My feelings for others tend to weigh me down when I see others in pain or need.  Read their thoughts?  Not going there.  I may say I want to know what others are thinking, but in reality?  No, not really.
A favorite character is the girl who has to wear gloves because her touch is so intense it destroys.  She I empathize with in the respect that sometimes I feel like my touch will destroy others or dispel anything that is beautiful.  Plus, what a lonely life without touch.
The boy who has wings and can fly is wonderful!  Wow!  How fantastic!  Or the boy who can freeze everything.  Or the one who can shoot fire.  All these fantastic powers!  To be able to use a power to change things!  How awesome—truly awesome!
So why did I choose X-Men, besides the fact that it is the letter of the alphabet I need to blog on?  Because I see their different powers attributed to their being mutants, enjoy their wild escapades, and it gives me hope.  Here, you will have to bear with me.  In their exaggerated powers, my desire to have those kinds of powers, I actually stop and think.  And that is what happened this time, too.
I realize, when I think about it, that each of us could be classified a mutant in that we have unique and special powers.  I have seen some people seem to set things on fire with a literally fiery glare of anger.  I have seen others stare so icily at a person that the person being stared at seems to freeze.  I have watched people morph in front of my eyes.  You know what I mean.  My mother can be a ball of anger and rage and the minister drive up and she morphs into a soft-spoken, well-controlled example of a Christian mother and wife.  That is as spectacular a morph as the best of the X-Men can pull off!  I have also had people read my thoughts without my ever saying a word.
Thinking about X-Men makes me realize we each have our special mutations that give us special powers.  It is our recognizing our special powers that starts us on our journey.  How we use those powers takes us further on our journey.  And sharing the benefits of our powers with others—well, that’s what it’s all about.

My truth in all this?  If I use my powers to help and you use yours, and others use theirs—there is no end to the good we can bring to the world and each other!  Power is wonderful used to help others.
W for WAIT

WAIT” is defined by Webster’s New World College Dictionary as: v. 1. to remain inactive in readiness or expectation  2. to delay serving  3. to act as attendant or servant  4. to attend as a waiter  5. to be ready.
Being an innately, genetically inclined impatient person, I do not like the word wait as it throws my genes into a tailspin.  I offer the hypothesis that I was not born a person who can tolerate waiting.  I have meditated to achieve patience for this concept of “waiting” to happen for me to no avail.  My brain and body are hard-wired to act—not wait.  Ahhhh…my bad.
I see the benefits of waiting repeatedly.  Angry words are not thrown out haphazardly to wound if one waits and thinks about what they are about to say.  Decisions can be made that are beneficial by waiting until all the fact are in.  I KNOW this!  And yet I will impulsively, without waiting, spout off or make a snap decision that will come back to bite my butt!  Please tell me I’m not alone in this!  Or maybe I am and will just have to repeatedly try to train my mind and mouth to learn to wait?
I admire those who can wait, patiently and without rancor to see what the best strategy or plan would be.  Those persons are definitely right up there at the top of the ladder of respected people in my estimation.  Even as I have done these alphabetical blogs, I have had to work at waiting until I feel I will not offend by what I write because my inclination is to get on my soapbox and spout off.  Again, my bad.  But I hope my waiting and contemplating before I write has paid off so I won’t have people avoiding me or looking at me like I should be locked up!
Wait is a word that inspires me and rankles me to my core.  To me it is a paradoxical word.  IF I can wait, other options to a situation can present themselves and possibly prevent  a disaster.  IF I can wait on one thing to occur in a more natural manner, rather than my forcing it to happen NOW, it could be a beautiful experience, rather than a rushed and muddled one.  WHEN I WAIT, I feel good about decisions, knowing I didn’t rush headlong into them, jeopardize anyone else or myself, and know I did the best I could with as much information and input as I could acquire.  I also have probably avoided a major melt down and painful life lesson.

I cannot dispute or argue with the literal definition of wait.  And with writing this blog, I find my connotation of the word has changed.  My project will henceforth be to develop an ability to wait without fuming and becoming agitated.  Though I have to admit, it probably won’t help Christmas Eve as I wait for Christmas morning and presents.
V for Vitriol

I have learned the meaning of a new word (to me)—vitriol.  Webster’s New World College Dictionary has the following definition: n. something resembling acid in being caustic, corrosive, or biting.
Now that is a strong word to throw around!  And I have very mixed feelings about “vitriol” because of where I first was exposed to it.  I first encountered the word being used on social media and in commentaries on the 2016 presidential election.  Not familiar with the word, I have looked it up in numerous dictionaries, online, etc.  The definitions are always the same—“…caustic, corrosive, biting…”  Personally, I feel this word should be confined to the chemistry lab.  After all, it has to do with acid, doesn’t it?  But its usage was in reference to humans when I first learned of it.  And I had to wonder…
Can human beings be “caustic, corrosive, or biting”?  It’s pretty obvious that they can.  I worry about this.  Especially since I heard the word first about people campaigning to be the leader of our nation.  As I said before, that word is strong to me.  I would surely stay away from any element with that definition!  And yet, when applied to a human being, I find myself wavering—can people be caustic, corrosive, biting?  I guess they can in all fairness.
I pride myself on trying to see things I come up against with an open mind, weighing everything involved, trying not to judge or be biased.  I want to know what is behind behaviors, actions, ideas and philosophies.  I detest stereotyping and labeling.  People are individuals, unique, and not robots that can be categorized and boxed into a race, a gender, etc.  If this were not so, I would not have the freedom to write this blog and ponder these things even now.
And so I ask—what has happened?  How did this word get thrown around?  Why are things happening as they do right now?  The word vitriol is becoming a common word now.  It is used as an adjective to describe a noun—not the noun itself.
I am disturbed in every sense by this word being used to describe humans.  I feel anxious.  I feel ignorant in that I cannot grasp the enormity of this word in application to my fellow human.  Maybe I am stupid?  Maybe my brain has gone on vacation?  No, my brain is still there, but my heart seems to be ready to crack and possibly surrender to what it cannot fathom.

Vitriol—a truly painful word, both literally and figuratively.  A disturbing word.  A strong word.  And in my truth?  One I wish I had never learned outside the chemistry lab.
U = UTOPIA

Get ready!  This is going to be fun!  Webster’s New World College Dictionary states the word “utopia” means: n. 1. a place of ideal perfection esp. in laws, government, and social conditions.  2. an impractical scheme for social improvement.
I have to admit I chuckled that even the dictionary showed bias by calling utopiaan impractical scheme…”.  And my response?  Why?  What makes it impractical and a scheme?  This, folks, is where the fun begins!
If utopia is a place of ideal perfection, I say let’s create such a place!  Now, I have never been off the continent of North America except to go to Hawaii, but that is a part of the United States, so obviously I am not a world traveler.  I travel through books and documentaries I can watch to see the rest of the world.  I also absolutely sit raptly listening to friends who are fortunate enough to travel the world and try to create visions of the places they have been to and seen in my own mind.  I realize it isn’t like being there, but oh how I enjoy their still pictures of where they have been and the tales they tell of what they saw and experienced!  And it’s close enough for me.  However, the one place I have been, Hawaii, made me think of it as the closest I would ever be to ideal perfection.  I got to go in 1971, and it was wonderful.  I am aware that it, too, has its imperfections, but to me they were so minor that I thought of it as Utopia.  Now, some 46 years later, I dream of going back some day.  And I entertain the idea of a utopia right here, where I live, and throw it out there to all of you.
Really, now.  Wouldn’t it be great if a bunch of us got together to create a Utopia rather than just focusing on making it day to day, week to week, month to month, and year to year?  We could combine resources, buy up a lot of land, and after making sure each person living on the land was sufficiently provided for, fulfill the first definition given for utopia.  We could set up laws that were agreed upon to protect and serve all of us.  Of course, when any group of humans get together, there will be differing opinions, but if everyone is concerned about fairness and justice, the differences could be set aside to benefit all.  Sort of like what the founding fathers did in establishing the constitution and laws of the United States.  Then we could start on a government that was fair and just for all.  Each person would have a voice and be responsible for decisions made.  Money and partisanship would have to be discarded so that equality would prevail.  I know, an idealistic venture, but one well worth the time and effort.  If these two goals could be accomplished, the third goal of ideal social conditions would naturally follow.  If we passed the laws and established a government, both based on fair and equal justice, then socially we would entertain the same basis for ideal social conditions!  See?  Seems feasible, doesn’t it?
However, if we deem Utopia to be impractical and a scheme, we are prejudicing ourselves against our goals.  So we will have to   drop definition 2.  Sorry Webster.  So what  would our Utopia be like?  And how could we make it a reality?  How about everyone working together?  That seems plausible.  Each person working toward making sure it is working for all the populace would be a good start.  We might also need to toss in some understanding, compassion, and sincere, heartfelt empathy.  Out of this should come kindness, and a sense of mutual respect.
Another benefit of Utopia would be encouragement of creativity and broadening of minds with new and innovative thinking, a sense of creativity in itself.  (Oh, isn’t this getting good?)  Then we capitalize on each person’s uniqueness and talents and foster growth in that way, too!  With only ten people, we would have ten separate and unique skills and gifts to work with!  We could pool mental resources, creative minds, and practical minds and THRIVE!  More people—more ideas!
I dream of Utopia and the wealth of good feelings, generosity of spirit as we care for ourselves and each other, communication that allows reasoning and advancement, and human beings connecting with each other!  Wow!  No ulcers, not hate, no stress related diseases and illnesses.  And if someone should be ill, more compassion, more kindness, more understanding and loving support!
We all have options and choices.  We all choose whether or not we create a utopia or a chaotic war zone around ourselves and in ourselves.  My truth is that Utopia can exist within us, around us, and is neither impractical  nor a scheme.  So I will practice for the utopia I desire by starting where I am with future goals always there to be reached for and gained!  

LONG LIVE UTOPIA!

Thursday, May 4, 2017

T / Trauma

According to Webster’s New World College Dictionary, trauma is defined as: n. a bodily  or mental injury usually caused by an external agent. (Note there is no mention of pain.)
Trauma is subjective, not objective.  What is trauma to you, would not necessarily be trauma to me.  Ergo, trauma is individual and cannot be rated or classified by a table or a number.  Following are examples:
1.  Age 3 child (either gender)—skinned knee—major trauma!  To the 3 year old, this trauma is as extensive and life altering as the father of the child who just lost his job with no hope of moving immediately into another position that will pay the bills.  Tell the little one it will be all right and they will survive and tell the dad the same thing and watch their individual reactions.  Hmmmm.
2.  Death of a loved one—One friend loses a parent/spouse/child/beloved animal/ close friend and strives to remember the good times even as they are in the throes of grief.  Another friend grieves daily for long periods and can never seem to see anything except their loss.  Is one cold-hearted and uncaring?  Is one more sincere in their loss or more suffering from trauma than the other?  Tell the one they don’t seem to care that much and look at their body language, their eyes as the hurt you claim they do not feel becomes apparent.  Tell the one grieving some years later that they should get over it and move on.  Again watch their body language and see the pain in their eyes as they feel alone in their grief.  Can you measure who hurts more or less?  Hmmmmmm.
3.  A car accident takes the home provider’s ability to work as her/his legs are severed and they worked in manual labor.  In another accident, an object flies through the windshield, decapitating the driver whose head lands in the back seat with a sleeping child.  Now that is gross but it happened to my friend’s sister and my friend wound up raising the child in the back seat and securing counseling for “trauma” for her niece.  Degrees of trauma?  I won’t even ask you to measure either.
My truth is, pain/trauma cannot be measured.  When it is YOUR PAINYOUR TRAUMA—being told others suffer more than you does not do any more than put a temporary bandaid on a wound that is gaping.  Yes, the person may stop for a minute, be grateful the situation, the pain, the events were not worse and feel selfish that they are more concerned with their own pain, but it will return.  And—they will usually say little from that point on, being ashamed they hurt when others are so much worse off.  It’s called suffering in silence and guilt.  Can you quantify, judge, advise, condemn their initial response?
YOUR TRAUMA/PAIN is different from anyone else’s—simply by virtue of the fact that it is yours.  Whether you talk about it or not, share it or not, it is still a trauma to you, and that makes it significant.  In all honesty, I am not one to quantify or compare degrees of pain.  Who wants to “one-up” anyone else in regards to suffering and pain?  Not me!  When sharing with another in a heart to heart talk in the wee hours of the morning, I have heard, “Oh, your pain is so much more than I could have handled!”  even as I think to myself I would have most surely crumpled over what this person endured!  See?  How would one’s person pain be greater than another’s?  
Please do not think I do not advocate looking at others’ pain in order to gain perspective on my own.  My heart breaks for the people around the world being subjected to abuse, hunger, bombings, terror/fear every day that they will be harmed or killed!  I need to see these things to realize just how lucky I am that so far I am not subjected to these things.  Therefore, I do what I can to relieve their trauma and pain out of compassion and realizing I am much luckier than others.  But in the same way, I will see my friend’s grief, pain, trauma—and know it is just as great, cuts just as deep, seems just as overwhelming as my own.

My truth—as has been said, and I paraphrase here—we do not know the trauma and pain others carry, so always offer compassion and kindness.  We cannot always avoid trauma, but we can extend compassion and love to those who bear its results—without judging or degree of love warranted.  THEY HURT!  EMPATHY CAN HELP ALLEVIATE THE HURT!
S for Serendipity

I LOVE this word!  It has a wonderful definition and if you say it with a smile, it rolls happily off your tongue!  But here you go, the dictionary definition from Webster’s New World College Dictionary: n. the gift of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for.
Did you catch the second word in the definition?  “GIFT.”  Wow!  That in itself makes me smile.  I adore getting a “gift” I never expected or even hinted for!  I watched a girlfriend who was so depressed she was talking about suicide literally do a complete reversal due to serendipity.  We were discussing pros and cons at her kitchen table about dying and going on.  I was scared and crying, she was beaten down and also crying.  Then the doorbell rang.  She didn’t make any move to rise or answer the door so I went to answer.  I peeked through the peep hole and saw nothing but red flowers.  I cracked the door open slightly and said, “Don’t leave.  Hang on and I will get the person who lives here.”  I received a grunted “Okay” from behind the flowers.  I turned and almost ran back to the kitchen table and said, “Gail, you have to answer this one.  It’s official business.  Hurry.  The guy is waiting!”  I watched as she laboriously got up from the chair and slowly started shuffling to the front door.  I followed saying, “Hurry, Gail!  This is important!”  I watched her pick up the pace of the shuffling a little more.  She finally reached the door and I breathed a prayer the guy was still there since it had seemed to take forever for her to reach the door.  I stood by her, saw her pull the door knob toward her with her head down, then slowly lift her head to gaze out to see who was there.  And then I received a moment of serendipity!  Gail’s mouth first dropped open as she saw the flowers, then turned up at the corners as it went from shock to a tentative smile.  Her hands literally shook as she reached both toward the flowers.  The man holding them smiled and pushed them gently into her outstretched hands and arms.  He said softly, “The card is right here, ma’am.  Have a wonderful day!”  And he beamed a huge smile her way, turned, and disappeared.
Gail stood on the porch, just outside the door, looking from the flowers to the now empty space the young man had occupied, then back to the flowers.  Her eyes closed softly, slowly as she buried her face in the aromatic roses.  When she opened her eyes once more, they shone with tears.  I simply stood by, basking in my own joy at the timing of the arrival of the beautiful flowers.
Watching Gail, I softly and quietly reached for the card and removed it from the bouquet and asked, “Would you like to read the card?”  Her tear-filled eyes, now overflowing, turned to me in almost a plea, and I added, “Or do you want me to read it to you?”  A nod.
I took the card from its small envelope as she once more buried her face in the flowers.  I quickly scanned the small card and suddenly could not see through my own tears.  I wiped my eyes, cleared my throat with a small cough, and read aloud, “I know we fought, but my love for you is even stronger today.  I cherish you, honey.  I’m so very sorry.  YOU ARE MY LIFE!   All my love, xxxxx.”
Gail looked at me and she said, “Who could have known?  Read it again, PLEASE!”  I did, and I must have read it a half dozen more times before I left her and went home, safe in the knowledge that she would not kill herself.  You see, she knew she was loved because of an act of love that was serendipitous!  And by way of that serendipity, I had experienced my own serendipity by seeing my friend overwhelmingly choose life over death.  Ahhh!  The wonder of it all!

My truth about serendipity?  It has to be the most wonderful thing in all the world!  You can’t buy it.  You can’t search it out.  It happens.  When you least expect it, serendipity is there to strengthen the spirit and offer another wonder in life!  Like I said, I adore getting unexpected gifts like that!  How cool is that?
R for Recommend

The definition of the word “recommend,” according to Webster’s New World College Dictionary, is: v. 1. to present as deserving of acceptance or trial.  2.  to give in charge:COMMIT  3.  to make acceptable  4.  to give advice to.
I don’t know about you, but before I commit to buying an expensive item, be it the newest techno toy or clothing or household item, I search out someone who already has the product and ask if they would recommend it as a purchase.  No information is as valuable as that from someone who already has something that you would like to have and their opinion about it.  Once I was going to purchase a certain brand of camping tent when the children and I were going to go camping.  Our tent had succumbed to weather and kids.  Need I say more?  I knew someone who had already bought the tent I was looking to buy, and asked how they liked theirs.  Thank goodness I did!  I heard phrases like “Oh, yeah.  That brand!” and “Well, you get what you pay for!”  “Cheap isn’t always better.”  Or my favorite, “If you can afford to buy the tent for a one-time use, sure, throw your money down the drain!”  Okay.  I got the picture.  I bought a more expensive tent that I have to this day, some 25 years later.  I was glad I asked!
On another note, when I was teaching college, I frequently had students ask for a letter to recommend they get into a particular program or to help them get a scholarship.  Now, when it comes to recommending a human being, it doesn’t quite rank with buying a tent for camping.  Sometimes, I would struggle with recommending the student, wondering if they were serious about whatever they wanted the recommendation for, and if they would truly have a chance of success in the most literal sense.  So I would occasionally ask if I was their first choice of reference or last.  Always, I had the presence of mind to smile like it was an amusing question, but depending on the student and her/his capabilities, I was as serious as a heart attack!  It can be hard to recommend a human for something, when your gut tells you this is a disaster waiting to happen.  But… there are ways around it.  With phrases like “…always very pleasant in demeanor…” or “…very prompt…”  and “…sincere…”.  Geez, I hate writing empty words, but…the student got their letter of recommendation and I didn’t feel like I had betrayed them or betrayed the person(s) who would take them on—or not.
In today’s culture and our society, people recommend other persons, items, lifestyles with more force behind it.  Sometimes this reaches the point of “…accept my ‘recommendation’ or else!” and it hangs on the edge of being an order or fiat.  And that’s when I balk.
I recommend that my writing, creative friends join WOK.  I back up my recommendation with facts as well as personal anecdotes about the benefits I personally have gotten from WOK.  I feel comfortable as I recommend WOK meetings and membership.  But if these same friends ask me to recommend a good dentist or doctor?  EEEEWWWWW!  Will they like the personality of the medical person?  Will they feel confident in the background/education of the professional?  Will they blame me if they wind up with an ultra-expensive root canal when they could have gotten a mere filling for the same tooth at a fraction of the cost?  No—some things I never recommend.
Why is recommending someone or something so tricky and complicated?  Because, as the definition states,  when we recommend anything or anyone, we are presenting something as “…deserving of acceptance or trial.”   Do I want that responsibility?  To take a chance that my recommendation of something or someone could destroy the relationship I currently enjoy with the one asking for my recommendation?  No.  To both questions, I answer “NO.”  I know that I put a certain level of trust in others when I ask them to recommend.  I trust them to have my best interests at heart when they point me in one direction or another.  Now, I am not a vengeful person.  And I accept my responsibility for following their direction—or not.  If one friend recommends a certain dentist and my experience is one of nothing but costly pain and anguish—well, I chose to accept the recommendation so it is on me.  But some of my friends do not share this philosophy and I get unfollowed on FaceBook, hear upset voices on my phone, and get the cold shoulder if I recommend the wrong person, etc.  Hence, no more recommendations from me, friend.  
So my truth regarding the word recommend?  Groups you’d recommend?  Pretty safe as long as lots of people from different backgrounds, etc., are there because people will find someone they can relate to.  Products?  Always preface your opinion/recommendation with “I may have gotten a fluke and bad apple, however,…”  That is better known as CYA and you are blameless.  

So the question you have to ask yourself (at the end of this rambling) is whether or not you are willing to take responsibility for your recommendations or not.  Me?  I pick and choose what to recommend.  Slip shod, I know.  But at least I still have friends!  (Or after this blog, maybe not!)

Monday, May 1, 2017

Q for Quintessence

Webster’s College Dictionary offers the following definition of quintessence: n.  the pure and concentrated essence of a substance.  2. the most perfect embodiment  of something.
I have to question how many  substances now used by humanity have a pure and concentrated essence?  Look at our coinage.  There is no more pure and concentrated silver dollar.  It is a combination of cheaper metals, plated, and worth little when melted down.  Dimes, quarters are made in like manner.
Our food is processed for a longer “shelf life.”  Ever found a Twinkie after a year or so where you hid it in the back of the cupboard?  A little chewy maybe, but still edible.  Anymore, I can buy a loaf of bread, leave it out for two weeks or more, and find no mold.  However, I need to qualify that with the admission that I buy the cheapest bread I can find like Great Value or Clover Valley.  Never once have they gone moldy on me.  I splurged once for a name brand loaf of specialty bread and the blue fuzz was growing within less than a week.  Hence, the cheap, dry, non-moldy bread is bought.  What am I stuffing into my body?  Is it capable of being broken down by my digestive system since it does not succumb to its outside environment?  Oh well.
So again, I question if anything we know of meets the definition of quintessence?  I have pondered this question repeatedly, out of curiosity and boredom and now for survival’s sake as I see our environment plundered and pillaged.  My happy answer is this:  Giant Redwoods, Sequoias, poison oak and poison ivy are examples of quintessence!  Yay!  The trees I mentioned existed before we learned how to technologically alter them!  Poison oak and poison ivy are a pure scourge to mankind that keep them away from the natural beauty of nature.  Again, Yay!  
Animals are bred down, bred for color, for size, for aesthetic physical characteristics repeatedly.  Edible vegetation is genetically altered, as are the liquids we drink, the sweeteners we use, the medicines we take to cure the viruses, etc., caused by the mutations of the food we ingest.  Seems like a vicious, unending cycle of destruction, doesn’t it?  Actually, we need quintessence!  Pure water, pure air, pure vegetation and food, pure breeds of animals are vital to keeping us alive and in balance.
So how do we accomplish this and help our earth regenerate herself naturally?  We use quintessence to regain quintessence!  Ta Da!  Simple enough, isn’t it?  And where do we find the quintessence to establish more quintessence?  Again, simple.  We call on the minds and hearts and souls that have not conformed to ease and cutting corners.  We call on creativity, and its nature of purity and concentrated essence that benefits the earth and all who populate it.  (I can hear you scoffing now, fellow cynic!)
Many of us have been tainted by the input that floods us that we can do nothing, change nothing, and simply acquiesce to “the powers that be.”  Many of us look at trying to revert back to the essences of purity as idealistic, utopian, ridiculous in today’s world.  We hear, “It’s too late.  Give it up.  Nothing is going to change things now.”  But that is not my truth!
My truth is I see people struggling to survive on the streets, struggling to feed children, struggling to make sense of what is happening to them that they have been told they cannot control—and they CREATE solutions!  It is their purity of heart, mind, soul that fosters a growth of more and more quintessence!  They create through using what they have to make their world, and subsequently the world of others, a better place!  CREATIVITY and a loving and kind heart are at the core of quintessence.  In our worst times of despair, we create the most beautiful, pure paintings—the greatest music is written to soothe all those who have given up and offer hope—the greatest words are written to let others know they are not alone in their fears and isolation.  Sculptures  speak to us as we gaze into marble eyes and see the intricacies and wonder created from a piece of wood, stone, marble.  Quintessence is reborn in the moments we look on the creations coming from the hearts of those who do not succumb, do not allow themselves to be sheep or move to the sound of a pitiless drummer.  Art, music, writing—voices raised through their works.  Concentrated Purity of thought, soul, heart that spreads.  Touches.  Fosters more and more quintessence.  There is no color, no gender, no pettiness in quintessence.  It is purity of substance.  It is the real heart, the concentrated essence of humanity that we all want and need. 

THAT is MY TRUTH!  Peace to us all as we create!
P is for Pay Phone (remember?)

According to Webster’s College Dictionary, the definition of “pay phone” : n. a public telephone requiring that the caller deposit coins or use a credit card to pay for a call.  Also called pay station (1935-40).
Ahhhh—a trip down nostalgia lane.  I remember the first date I went on.  I wore a pair of penny loafer shoes with a dime—a DIME—in the slot for the penny that was supposed to be there.  This was in case of an emergency so I could make a phone call from one of the public phones located throughout the city.  I was instructed as to how to use the call boxes on the roadside should I be out in the country.  But always—the dime in the shoe.  You, too?
Today, a mom or dad probably yells, “You got your cell?  Got our number on speed dial?”  Well, of course the teen has their cell!  Would they be caught without it?  Plus, the parent only has to stay on social media internet to see what is going on with their teen as the youngsters post it live as to where they are, what they are doing, etc.
Pay phones.  A remembrance from the past.  Just try and find one now.  And a dime won’t even buy you a local number.  Try two quarters to get a dial tone.  Or—at certain campgrounds where there is lack of cyber service due to remote location (a rarity) you can use your credit card and pay whatever the service contracted decides.  In one campground, I had to pay $24.99 for a phone call with a master card.  Ouch!  That hurt!  Never again!
I have wandered streets of tourist trap cities, looked in windows of antique shops, and occasionally seen a defunct pay phone hanging on an outside wall next to the shop with no receiver, the front of the unit bashed in, and wondered how long before it wound up in the antique store’s displays.  Yes, pay phones are a thing of the past here in the USA.  And if anyone should run across one, and it worked, would anyone remember how to use it?  Who carries change anymore?  We would need to have the payphone have a slot for the chip on our credit card to activate a dial tone!

Personally, I do sometimes miss the payphone.  I mean, just remember the pleasure you could receive from slamming the receiver into the holder when the other party was being a jerk or yelling at you!  Ahh, the good old days!  HA!  Our truth.