Does Hope = Happy?

People say they want to be happy.  They often say they hope they can be happy.  Are they saying “hope” and “happy” are synonymous?  Hmmm…I wonder.  Let’s look at a few examples.

We just got through the worst of the flu season.  The most awful truth was, does your kiddo have a bad cold or the deadly flu?  No, you are not happy as you wonder what to do.  So you visit the pediatrician, or maybe an urgent care, hoping it is just a really bad cold.  Yes, if it is, you will be ever so happy to be labeled an overprotective parent, knowing the child will recover as all kids do from a bad cold.  So you “hope” you will be “happy” with the end result.  Sort of synonymous, isn’t it?  Well, let’s go on.

You have a trip to make from Bakersfield to say, San Jose.  The car has been making a funny sound off and on, nothing you can identify, so you “hope” it will make the miles needed so you can be “happy” with the results and enjoy your trip.  But—is “hope” going to get you there?  Shouldn’t you check it out before you leave?  Should you just “hope” you get there without incident or know what the problem is?  If you are traveling alone, you should probably check it out first, right?  Okay.  Inner argument over, you get the car checked out, find out what needs to be done or doesn’t, and you leave for San Jose—“happy.”

On a lighter note, let me give you an example of a friend who could be happy, truly happy, from buying a lottery ticket on Thursday morning and hoping her numbers would be a winner during the weekend drawing.  Oh, how she hoped to win the lottery!  Her spirits would lift, she would smile, she had positive words for everyone—one happy camper!  It was fun to be around her and if you needed a lift in spirit, she was your go-to person—after she bought the lottery ticket Thursday morning.  Then they would draw the winning numbers on the weekend.  She would sit glued to the televised drawing, nearly salivating with anticipation.  It was HER MOMENT OF HOPE AND HAPPY!  If the first couple of numbers matched hers, the room was literally filled with the energy of hope and happy.  But every time, there would be a number pulled that meant she hadn't won.  Then the room would have the positive energy sucked out of it, her smile would fade, her eyes become dull, and the ticket bent to the shape of her fingers as she clutched it would silently drop to the floor, landing soundlessly.  I would make inane remarks like, “Wow!  That was close!  You were so close!  How exciting!  Maybe next time, huh?  Say, how about we go grab some tacos or whatever?”  I would watch her get up like a zombie, hear her mumble she was tired and going to bed, and watch her shuffle, literally, toward her bedroom.  And I would quietly let myself out her back door, making sure the door was locked behind me.

It never did become something that didn’t cause me to hope with her and for her, but her happiness depended on the numbers on a piece of paper.  And her hope was that they would make her happy.  I think I hoped she would win so she would be happy more than Thursday through the lottery draw on the weekend.  Ah—the tenuousness of hope linked with happy.

So is it hope that makes us happy?  Or is it hope that keeps us going until we reach happy?  Or again, are they synonymous?  I, personally, do not think they are synonymous but I think as long as we maintain some hold on hope, our chances are better to find happy.  Another question I have to ask is do I want to be happy?  I don’t think so.  To me, happy is a fleeting feeling, here now, gone now.  But peace, calm, self assurance, a love for others and empathy—those last day and night. Weeks.  Months.  Years.  Yes, they will vary in degrees of attainment, but they are not dependent on what numbers are read, what outside events occur.  They are there after a crisis, a sudden success, a day at work, a loving hug. 

No, I do not hope for happy.  I hope for the love, peace, calm, compassion I can share and receive.  Ironically, that makes me happy.  How about you?